Living Long but Dying Alone in Singapore
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13 July 2024 22:33 WIB
Mak, 65, needs a wheelchair to get around. The community care team referred him to fitness activities at the Active Ageing Centre because he reported being lonely and wanted physical activities to occupy his time.
He recounted his experience: "I felt inferior because I can't do what others can. The exercises are very hard for me, so I rarely participate."
On the other hand, 68-year-old Aishah feels the pressure to appear enthusiastic at community activities.
"The Residents' Committee asks you to participate in this and that. They need you to be committed. Need your energy hyped. I don't want to participate because my leg is not good. I don't want them to be angry with me if I attend once and I decide not to come after. So, I didn't come at all."
A double trap
Lonely older people are not just trapped in their bodies, but also in their negative self-perceptions that may have been shaped by unpleasant social encounters.
Additionally, maladaptive forms of coping with loneliness will end up endangering, rather than protecting, the health of older people, which lowers their resilience. In turn, this leads to a poorer quality of life, physically and psychologically.
June Chua, who runs a shelter for homeless transgender women in Singapore, describes a few lonely older transgender women who "de-transitioned" — reverting to their gender assigned at birth — because they were desperate for care and social connection.
Concealment of one's gender and sexual identity to avoid further alienation contributes to feelings of invisibility in community and care settings and, ironically, aggravates loneliness.
Further, social interventions that are activity-centric without sensitivity to access and addressing seniors' experiences with discrimination and negative self-perception may end up alienating, rather than integrating, them into the community.
In the past few years, social service agencies have ramped up efforts to identify and engage reclusive seniors who are at risk of social isolation, based on objective indicators such as living alone, having limited or no social support, poor health status and mobility issues. They then refer them to appropriate community-based care services and activities.
Meaningful connection
However, it is vital to remember that remedies intended to counter loneliness need to be responsive and specific in addressing individual and structural stressors that hinder the formation of meaningful connections throughout someone's life.
Studies have shown that self-mastery, or personally feeling a sense of control over your life, is a major psychological resource for countering loneliness. In that light, empowering older persons to gain personal mastery, in the particular context of Singapore, requires a progressive approach.
Koh and other lonely older persons' stories drive home the point that individuals must be supported through a series of phases.
For Koh, he appears to accept his loneliness, even though he doesn't outwardly express it. He might even believe others have it worse. This suggests a passive approach to loneliness, rather than actively seeking to overcome it by challenging negative self-perceptions.
After these initial phases, creating the ability to make connections to form community ties and, finally, maintaining and sustaining these connections.
It is through this successful — yet often elusive — maintenance of robust community ties that the death trap of loneliness might be evaded.
Originally published under Creative Commons by 360info™.
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