TEMPO.CO, Jakarta - The coronavirus or COVID-19 pandemic has situated families at home. With physical distancing and the large-scale social distancing (PSBB) policy taking great prominence across the country, you might just find more time with your family at home than ever before.

Your extra family time might just seem like the silver lining in a grey cloud. However, with schools across the country taking place from home, the added economic pressure on your household, and questions about the outbreak; navigating through these tricky times with great parenting is crucial to make the best out of your new found time with your loved ones.

Fret not, as a number of organizations, including the WHO, UNICEF and the Global Partnership to End Violence Against Children, have all teamed up to provide some parenting tips during COVID-19, through the ‘Parenting for Lifelong Health’ initiative.

“We teamed up with the Parenting for Lifelong Health initiative to bring parents and caregivers a set of handy tips to help manage this new (temporary) normal,” read an official notice from the UNICEF website, on Friday, April 17, 2020.

Check the following tips.

1. One-on-one time with your child

Between your work life and their school life, you might struggle finding some quality one-on-one time with your child. However, with all activities being situated at home, be sure to spend some one-on-one time with your child, or children. You can catch up on their school work and personal life, ask them about their new hobbies or friends; make sure to make it the same time each day, so your child can look forward to it everyday.

In your conversation, you should ask them about what they like to do. Remember that physical distancing policies have really changed your child’s routine. More than you, they will need time and understanding to adjust. You can help by encouraging them to do what they like to do; as long as it is safe during these times.

2. Keeping it positive at home

For some parents whose children are going through changes in their life, you might realize that they need privacy in these trying times. Furthermore, with the added pressure you have on your shoulders, it might be hard not to feel stressed out. However, you need to ensure that you keep the mood positive at home. First, you can try by using positive words when talking to your children, and make sure to speak in a positive tone. For instance, you can say ‘please clean your room’ as opposed to saying ‘don’t make a mess.’

Then, once your child has done what you had kindly asked them to; make sure to express your gratitude and thank them. However, you also need to be realistic in what you ask them to do. As opposed to asking them to stay quiet for two hours for your webinar, you might want to provide an activity for them to do instead.

3. Make new routines and structure up

The COVID-19 outbreak has really upended your child’s sense of routine, especially for parents whose child has just entered a new school or relocated to a new part of the city. In the current new normal, you need to provide a new sense of consistency; a cornerstone for your child to build their day around.

You can do this by creating a flexible but consistent daily routine, which includes a balance between responsibilities and free time. The current situation might also be a great time for your child to pick up a new skill or even exercise to be fit, just make sure to consult with your child and put it in the schedule. You need to be sure that you also adopt this new routine yourself, remember that you are your child’s role model.

4. New ways to deal with bad behavior

With the new routine and responsibilities your child needs to adjust with, it is normal for them to get frustrated. Furthermore, with them not being able to channel it through their usual activities, their new sense of frustration might just result in bad behavior. Keeping this in mind, you can prevent it by redirecting your child’s frustration into good behavior. You can do this by asking them to play with you, or even by talking with them. Essentially, you’re trying to nip their frustrations in the bud before it goes out of hand.

If you were unable to avoid the manifestation of their bad behavior, prepare a set of consequences, that teaches responsibility and is still reasonable. You need to be calm and collected when talking to your child about this, and make sure you follow through with it. For example, given the current condition, previous go-to consequences like grounding them might not be relevant anymore, or taking their gadgets away for three days, might just be too much.

5. Have your me-time and manage your stress

First, realize that these times might be stressful to you too. At the end of the day, your routine and hobbies have also been upended. Factor in the additional economic pressure and the emotional resilience you need to be there for your children; know that you are not alone in facing this stress, as parents everywhere are facing it too. You need to be inventive and find ways to take a break by talking to other people about it because you need it, and they might need it too.

In your me-time, be sure to take a pause. You can do a one-minute relaxation activity whenever you are feeling stressed or anxious. Strike up a pose you fancy and breathe calmly. Reflect on the day you have gone through, and come to terms with it. This activity will also aid if your child is being frustrating, allowing you to maintain a positive demeanor.

6. Talk to your child about COVID-19

In this day and age, your child will likely have heard something about the COVID-19 pandemic. As digital natives, they are likely to scour the internet looking for the information they want. As scary that thought might seem, understand that having them read up on inaccurate information is even scarier. Do not beat around the bush and talk to them about COVID-19.

There are a few things you need to remember when talking to your child about COVID-19. You need to be open and listen to what they know, afford them the chance to talk without interruption and be honest when answering their enquiries. Make sure to clarify inaccurate facts and acknowledge that you don’t know, if you do not. Lastly, ask them about how they feel after the talk and making sure they understand what you have said.

DIO SUHENDA | UNICEF | Parenting for Lifelong Health