TEMPO.CO, Jakarta - At work, you may face challenges with coworkers that can have an affect your mood or even your work performance. Avoid the usual prejudice towards their actions and think about the possibilities that these difficult coworkers might have a sociably unlikable trait or sometimes can also spark from them not enjoying their line of work.
The followings are a few tips that could help overcome problems related to coworkers who are difficult to cooperate with.
1. Do Good Deeds
A study in the Journal of Social Psychology published in 2010 and another one published in 2011, in the Journal of Happiness Studies, suggests that doing good deeds for somebody else, no matter how big or small, will make the person feel better and act as a mood-booster.
Researchers found that people, in general, will more likely feel content when the person remembers their past generosity.
Surprisingly, the research found that the happiest people are the ones that spend most of their earnings for another person compared to the people who do the contrary. Practicing this positive behavior can start by breaking the ice and treat your coworker to a cup of coffee, which might elevate your work environment.
2. Be a Good Listener
We may often find ourselves in a position where we would feel annoyed when the person we dislike starts a conversation with us, and the popular thing to do might be to end the conversation as soon as possible. But wait, it may not solve the existing problem for the long-run.
Replace avoidance with acceptance, and listen to what your coworker is saying and attempt to understand the point he or she is trying to put across.
As issued by the Huffington Post, former FBI lead hostage negotiator Chris Voss suggests you listen closely while they are speaking and then, repeat back to them what you hear. He recommends you to follow that up by saying ‘That’s right’ – which differs from ‘you’re right’.
The difference between the two is that the first is a signal that they believe you understand, while the second is a sign of frustration, meant to appease you and perceived as a means to end the conversation.
3. Ignore When All Else Fails, Continue Doing Good
Sometimes the best rule to follow when someone is being difficult is to assume good intentions. Such as, taking a brief moment of pause before responding, and even moving forward with kindness, would allow for the possibility that the other person is not intentionally trying to treat you badly. They may be in a bad mood at the moment — or even perpetually — but it has nothing to do with you.
Psychology Today published a few examples of how to do this. They note, “oftentimes, you can break the cycle of rudeness by empathizing with the root of someone’s cantankerous behavior as a sign that he or she is unhappy, and be kind.”
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