TEMPO.CO, Jakarta - Most millennial generations born in the period of 1980-1994 have become a mother, as US Census Bureau data in April 2018 revealed that one in five mothers is millennial. Nowadays, the ease of access to information has brought millennial mothers being more open to new things particularly on parenting patterns to be applied to children.
They began to correct the parenting style from the older generations, such as being drone parents who simply monitor their children from a distance, rather than helicopter parents. However, there is no perfect generation. According to child psychologist Vera Itabiliana Hadiwidjojo, there are some mistakes that millennial mothers often unconsciously make which affect their lives and children.
1. Not filtering information
One of the biggest challenge faced by millennial mothers today is filtering the information that widely spread out in the internet. Too much information sometimes make the mother overwhelmed and forget what the style can be applied appropriately to the child. Thus, a mother should know the child first.
"The child’s age, in what age they should reach certain ability based on the age of development. Sadly, mothers tend to compare their own child to the celebrity children and eager to follow it. And that mothers should filter and consider the information obtained," Vera explained in Jakarta, last week.
2. Allowing the children use gadgets without a specific time
Gadgets are an integral part of the millennial mother and their children. Although many parents began to realize the use of gadgets might harmful for the children, many children are reported to have been affected because the usage time is not limited properly.
"Many children could be late to talk because they play too many gadgets. Do not be deceived by gadgets and give the limit time in using it,” said Vera.
3. Trying hard to be the perfect mother
Social media displayed the lives of mothers with perfect-looking children which makes millennial mothers often force themselves to be perfect moms. "No one is perfect. Let alone a new mother, a mother who already has two or three children would have different experiences. Do not try hard to be a perfect mother, instead, be a good mother," Vera advised.
4. Not ready to deal with an out-of-the-plan problem
Mothers who are forcing themselves to be a perfect mom is vulnerable to stress. Because sometimes, things did not go based on the plan. For example, they plan to give exclusive breastfeeding, but that was impossible for them and that leads to the stressful.
"Maintaining the mental health is important. And you have to underline that being a mother does not mean you will experience a beautiful thing only. There are challenges that are sometimes out of the plan and must be faced. If the mother is not ready, they are prone to mental illness such as baby blues or postpartum depression," Vera noted.
5. Easily lured to mommy wars
Mommy wars or wars that involves interfaith opinion on social media often occurred among millennial mothers. Vera asserted each mother has different conditions that can not be compared to each other. Thus, do not take fully the opinions of others. What is fundamental for the parenting is the support from the closest relations, such as husband and family.