Wednesday, 19 February 2020

5 Ways to Deal With Toxic People



Laila Afifa

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  • TEMPO.CO, Jakarta - A toxic person is generally described by some as anyone who is abusive, unsupportive, or unhealthy emotionally—someone who basically brings you down more than up. 

    The types of people categorized into this group may come from people you hold dearly in your life or people in your work life. But in general, toxic people can be considered as those that have the tendency to act as a black hole for positive energy. 

    A toxic person might exhaust you, trigger your anger, fear, or maybe even spark pessimism within yourself. The following tips might help you deal with them:

    1. Don’t "play their game"

    Playing the blame game, among a plethora of others, is one of the common strategies applied by toxic people to avoid criticism. This is done to distort facts to play the victim card. Responding too nicely to this will only make you their target in the long run. Make sure you express disagreement and call them out on their use of playing the blame game.

    1. Dare to say no!

    Express refusal by saying no might be a difficult thing for you to express, either because of compassion or pity. But in the case of facing toxic people, it is wiser to not comply with them and stay true to your decision. In this case, practice will perfect your ability to refuse to cave in on whatever toxicity you might face from them.

    1. Limit your communication 

    Toxic people will likely always feel as if they are the only living person facing troubles in their life. This type of person will likely drag other innocent bystanders with them, or possibly blame other people apart from themselves. This will surely be emotionally exhausting for you to face constantly. However, the best way is to think calmly and positively and limit your interactions with them. 

    1. Establish boundaries 

    Limit on what you are able to accept and reject, such as being a good listener for your coworker who often complains, however, don’t stay silent if you are bullied. A little compromise will not hurt, but remember to create boundaries to prevent yourself be intoxicated by them.

    1. Simply talk to them

    If the people you have a close relationship with are considered toxic, it is best to make an eye-to-eye conversation with them that can help them or even your relationship with them. You can try to be completely honest - depending on the type of people - about their toxic tendencies. If they respond with denial, you can urge them to take therapy that will be able to solve the roots of their problem or better part ways with them until the situation improves. Hey, you also deserve to have a healthy and fulfilling life, don’t you?