TEMPO.CO, Jakarta - Whatever the reason, divorce leaves sad and uncomfortable feeling. No matter how bitter it feels you must be able to recover and reorganize your life in the following ways.
1. Do things that you like when you have not married
Some people blame themselves for a divorce. “You think that something is wrong with you so that this relationship cannot work properly. You should try to restore your belief and self-confidence, and think that you are valuable,” said the psychologist, marriage and family therapist, author of After Your Divorce from California, United States, Robert Alberti, Ph.D.
Retrace the hobbies, activities that you like when you have not married to restore your self-confidence. “Especially if you have been married for a long time, there must be things that you initially liked, you sacrificed for the sake of your spouse or child. Finding and reworking on your interest in the past is important in rebuilding yourself,” he said.
2. Seek for professional help
Sharon Gilchrest O’Neil, a marriage and family therapist from New York, United States, said talking and crying on a friend’s shoulder for some people might not be enough to shake the turmoil. All depends on the background of the divorce. The divorce caused by infidelity or physical violence in the household, for example, can leave deep trauma.
In order to truly open a new, healthy life, he suggested consulting a psychologist, therapist, or spiritual consultant.
“Motivating yourself for some people is not easy. Especially if the problem behind the divorce is quite heavy, you need professional help to fix yourself,” said O’Neil.
TABLOID BINTANG
